How I am feeling right now:

Malnourished (but at least Ghalib picked up a few knives and a wok for me today at IKEA).
Very very lonely.

I came into this semester preparing myself for not knowing many people here. But it didn't really hit me until last night when Erin had to cancel on the Twins/Orioles game how very few people I know. When I had to resort to asking people on my floor -- who I met maybe all of 2 or 3 times -- to go with me, I knew that that was a very bad sign.
So I've been in my room today (no, no one would go to the super-awesome game with me; apparently they lost 4-1 but it would've been cool to be there), listening to Cat Stevens, which generally cheers me up no matter how I'm feeling, but I put in Tea for the Tillerman when I really should have put in H&M or Saturnight, so it really didn't help at all.

Other things that didn't make me feel any better:

I went to the gym this morning and was running on the treadmill. I got distracted for a second and glanced to my side; I misstepped and my right foot landed on the side of the treadmill, while my left foot remained on the belt. So, I slid right off the treadmill in a sort of deep split and skinned my knee up. I made sure not to turn around to see the elliptical users right behind me, but the guy next to me looked over -- not with a "oh no, are you hurt" look but with a "what the hell is wrong with you" look. So...my run ended very shortly after that.

I was going to spend the day at the library reading today (by the way, I've read 3 entire books this weekend)...I get to the library and they STILL don't have the reserved articles that I need. (I've been asking since Friday and they always tell me that they should be ready by the next day at the latest.) So that didn't make me extremely happy; luckily I had brought backup on the "off-chance" that that would happen.

I then looked at my circulation record to make sure that the holds I placed on a few books that other people have out actually showed up this time; but no, they weren't there. Then I discovered that that is because the library claimed that I didn't turn in a 2-hour reserve on Saturday. Now, that is ridiculous. I asked them to check the reserve drawer and the book drop, and it wasn't there. So I went home and scoured my (very clean) room, and of course, as I expected, it wasn't there. I remembered that reserve; it was very boring. I had gotten it out of the library at 3 pm and sat in my quad's courtyard while the football game was going on ten feet away -- I paid more attention to the game than the reading as it was old material. (Paul, it was about that non-research paper you wrote last semester, basically.) I remember that I went and did that, then returned it before walking up to my room -- I remember that because it was my exact plan, and I did it. I turned it in to a girl with long curly blond hair -- who then promptly didn't check it in and then lost it.

So, they were telling me I owed $7. They got the head librarian when I said that was kind of ridiculous because I was 95% sure I had returned it. The librarian said, well, apparently you've disputed a fine in the past, and we waived it. That's when I lost it. I said, "hey, I'm sick of people not checking my things in. Just because it says that I disputed a fine in the past does NOT mean that I just argue every single fine that I get! I pay them when I deserve it, and you can't accuse me of this! Just because your desk workers can't check something in properly! This is ridiculous!" I said, "Look, I'll pay the stupid fine, but I'm really sick of this," and I pulled out a $10 bill.

(BTW, the fines I have disputed in the past have been 2 times: Last fall when I turned in an item for which they didn't check the drop slot for 2 hours, and the winter before when it was a (serious) blizzard (1-2 feet of snow drifted around), and I trudged all the way through the unshoveled streets from my dorm on the far end of campus to get my reserve in on time, and then they didn't check it in. THAT one pissed me off, as I could have just as easily said, well, I'll pay the fine, and stay in my dorm nice and warm until they shovel.)

Instead, the librarian got rather annoyed with me and said, "fine. We'll waive it this time, but from now on you have to get a receipt whenever you turn something in, or you can't dispute a fine." That pissed me off, because he was basically saying "we don't trust you, and we think you're a big liar," instead of "I'm really sorry this keeps happening." JC, what are they going to do next, put a picture of me up next to the desk and say "don't check out any books to this girl"?!

The regular desk workers did feel bad though because they saw everything that had happened plus they hadn't been able to find my readings for me. I left the desk and went down to treat myself to a cocoa from the coffee shop to make myself feel better. I got out one of the back-up books I had brought to read, and oh, guess what: the fifty pages I had to read were conveniently torn out of it!

I had just about had it at this time (ok, I had had it when they told me I owed $7 for that stupid 20-page xerox. I could fucking print out another one for them at the cost of $2 in the computer lab). But I marched back up to the desk (and I was being nice to the regular desk people because they were being nice to me), and said, "ok, just to continue my super-awesome day at the library, guess what: the fifty pages I need are gone," and I opened up the book to show them. They felt really bad but at the same time I think they were trying not to laugh. They apologized and found another one on reserve, and I just rolled my eyes and said, are you kidding!? But I agreed to take it, and I said, look. I'm going to sit in that room right there and read this and give it back. You'd better check it in right then and there in front of me.
So, I went and read it and had it back 20 minutes later, and sarcastically asked for a receipt (the head librarian was standing about 10 feet away from the desk, which is why I did that, and the desk person laughed at it). So I got my receipt. And they better never ever do this to me again or I will positively jump over the counter and strangle someone.

I just saw Kim Sarin from Cretin; I asked him if he wanted to go to the Twins games tomorrow or Wednesday night, but he said he had practice at 7 those days (and every day), but today was his day off, and he said he totally would have come with me (but I don't have his number, so I couldn't have asked him...nor did I think of him when trying to think of ANYONE who might come with me). But he said if there's another one (which...there's not) he would definitely come with me. So at least there's that. And if next year (because I don't THINK he's a senior? Was he in your year, Pauly?) there's a game, then I will remember to call him.

Anyways, I'm just very lonely and sad and now I am going to head back home and I guess do some more reading or something. I mean, I guess I will at least get a lot of studying done this semester. Or knitting.